Guys at the Gym

Ever been to the gym? If you have, the guys are usually lifting big, heavy weights. And if they are lifting weights, they’re usually grunting and groaning as they do so (at least in my experience. I don’t know, maybe you go to a quiet gym or something). Also, those men tend to like drop their weights and let them crash to the floor.

Now, when I lift weights, I usually can handle lifting them without any moaning. I can also put down the weights without dropping them. What is it about guys wanting to make so much noise and stuff? Is it involuntary?

I’ve figured it out. It’s all a display of their masculinity. It’s a way to show off their strength or prowess or manliness. Someone in the back of their mind, they must think that grunting makes them look tougher. They drop the weights to say “Yeah, I just lifted that over my head. What up?  #swag.” Yes, they say hashtag swag. (You probably can’t hear it because they mumble it to themselves most of the time.)

Now, at first I supposed it to be like a mating dance. Like that of an ostrich or giraffe to try and get the lady’s attention. But maybe its not. If I imagined an all-male gym where I snuck on a beard and fake underarm hair to work out, I think I would probably find this same behavior, even without any ladies present.

I think it’s a display of masculinity for the benefit of other males. They’re doing for each other, not for us. And I’m not saying they’re mating dancing for each other. I think it’s more like “Look, my antlers are bigger than yours. Suck it.”

Leave a comment