Hurricane Sandy: God’s Punishment for Homosexuals

Christian religious leader John McTernan has already claimed that Hurricane Sandy is proof that “God is systematically destroying America” as political judgement on America’s “homosexual agenda”. (You know, because only America has gays. Or perhaps God only hates American gays?) But Hurricane Sandy isn’t the only homophobic storm. He claims Hurricanes Katrina and Isaac are as well.

His proof? Hurricane Isaac hit exactly seven years after Katrina, both hitting during the week of Southern Decadence in New Orleans (a gay event). But not only that, Hurricane Sandy is hitting 21 years after the “Perfect Storm,” because 21 breaks down into 7 and 3, both “perfect” numbers when relating to God (for some reason? And then when you multiply them together it makes 21 even more perfect? Don’t worry, you’re not the only lost one here.)

This isn’t the first time religious spokespeople have connected natural disasters with the LGBT community. Pat Robertson, a TV preacher, has long believed that tolerance and acceptance of gays would result in hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, terrorist bombs (really?), and “possibly a meteor.”

And I think he’s right. After all, it is a well-known fact that the meteor hit Earth during the annual T-Rex Gay Parade, and Mount
Vesuvius exploded because the Pompeiians were having an Allies Training session. Dude, this all makes sense now! Global Warming is in on it too. It’s the Earth heating up, like how a human body has a fever to kill a cold, to kill off all the infecting gays!

Doesn’t this all sound a little… Oh, what’s the word I’m looking for…. It’s not pagan, because there’s nothing wrong with that… It’s not witchery, because I wouldn’t want to insult the Sanderson Sisters…. Oh, that’s right: crazy. All of this just sounds way too crazy. I got nothing against religion, but this is too much like the Salem witch hunts, or Noah flooding the world. And god forbid we bring any actual science, like say meteorology, into this.

It’s definitely God, and definitely the homosexual agenda–due to Obama being pro-gay and everything. Because God never misses an election day.

But what an evil thing to say, especially since a lot of good people are getting hurt during this storm, gay and straight, men and women, black, orange, gray, and white people. People are struggling for their livelihoods and homes, friends and families, and this Yahoo McTernan thinks God did it to punish a select few in a wide range of people. If He were going to attack a place, why wouldn’t he attack Salt Lake City, the gayest city in the U.S.! (Yes, it’s true. More gays than Chicago, LA, or New York.) And prior hub to Governor Romney (because he doesn’t like Romney either). It seems so much more likely since Salt Lake is sitting on a fault line and everything. It wouldn’t take very much to start a damn good earthquake. But no, clearly hurricane is the way to go.

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Hot Guys & Beautiful Babes

How do women act sexy? Swing our hips, flip our hair, bat our eyelashes, stick out our chests, lick our lips, the possibilities are endless. I could go on and on.

How do men act sexy? Swing their hips? Bat their eyelashes? Stick out their ample bosoms? No, that’s not attractive. Not for men. So what do they do?
To figure out this question, I Googled hot men. In no way do I support oogling hot men (just kidding, yes I do), and I do not recommend you do the same at home (Do it!). I find myself under unusual circumstances and it was purely in the name of scientific inquiry that I, for the greater good of the community, took on this steep challenge (are you buying that?).

Anyways, my findings were conclusive. While hot women (I Googled that too) were mostly in poses sprawled across the ground, men were in poses flexing their muscles. While women looked soft and delicate, men looked strong, tough, stern–sometimes almost angry. They were showcasing their power, their strength, their “manliness”, while women showcased their “femininity”.

Now, you might be thinking: why is it okay for girls to look at hot men on the internet, but then turn around and scoff when guys look at hot girls?

Or, you may be thinking Damn, look at that body! because you’re looking at hot guys.

Double standard? Perhaps.

Girls aren’t supposed to be sexual, only guys are (by the norms and stereotypes in society). And girls who show their sexuality are labeled as sluts, whores, or floozies.

Or, sexuality is a natural thing that we try to hide away in the dark recesses of society, when it is natural, when we all do it, when it’s a healthy part of life and we shouldn’t be ashamed of it. But that doesn’t mean we should all read porn in public now.

To answer this question, we could point fingers and say guys do it to girls all the time. Everyone does it to girls all the time. So why shouldn’t we do it back to guys? But then I say: Ah ah ah, thou shalt judge not. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Be the change you want to see in the world. That ain’t no mature way to handle things.

But I did also say that sexuality was natural and healthy, so why should we hide it? Why don’t we like it when we see sexualized women in advertisements? (by “we”, I might mean feminists, or women, or gender scholars, or you and me, or anyone in general)

How about this car ad by BMW?


Or this fashion ad by Dolce & Gabbana?
(selling jeans, I think?)


Or this one for Calvin Klein Jeans?
(because we’re all staring at those great pair of pants)

What about this fashion ad by Superette Botique?

That last one’s pretty intense. At the bottom of the ad it reads: Be caught dead in it. Yes, this is a real ad. But it’s not from America, not that that matters in the long run.

Yes, sexuality is healthy and normal, but these images are not, especially when they are being mass produced in order to sell something. Some people say that these images are not the media’s fault, that these images are the photographer’s way of reflecting reality back to us in order to make us think about gender roles and violence. But at the end of the day, this is still an advertisement. This is still trying to sell those jeans, or that shirt, or a used car.

There is no easy answer for sexuality, except this: respect. The common theme throughout all these ads is there seems to be a lack of respect for human people, the men and the women.

Mail-order Brides and the Little Mermaid

I’ve been to a few sketchy websites in my time, (Please don’t report me to the Internet Police) and one these websites, where I was not pirating binary systems relating of the Big Bang theory, were advertisements for Asian and Russian girlfriends. Strangely enough, I am in no need of a Russian girlfriend, but it caught my attention nonetheless.

It reminded me of something my professor said in my Sociology of Gender class. Men who ordered Asian brides reported the highest happiness and satisfaction with their marriage/purchase. The highest out of anyone anywhere, in fact. That is, until their wives learned to speak English. The husbands and wives quickly separated as friends after that.

This got me thinking again. (Confound this brain of mine). Isn’t this sort of like Ariel and Eric in The Little Mermaid? I mean, they had no means to communicate to each other. No sign language, no hand gestures, no writing notes back and forth to each other (come on, she didn’t know how to write). They had no means of communication. All their interactions were based on body language and physical attraction–kind of like a mail-order bride. Except Eric didn’t realize he was going to be marrying the woman who showed up on his doorstep.

And now you too can combine the best of both worlds with these stunning Ariel-inspired wedding gowns. “Channel Ariel with charm and wonder…” is the tagline for these dresses.

You can take a personality quiz on this site, and then get matched up with the Disney character that “is your inner princess”. Do you want to be a sixteen year old fish? Are you trying to relive your childhood? Are you too a fish literally out of water?

“Your flaws are childish, but you also look at the world with wonder and excitement, as a child would.”—> Straight from the website.

I’m kind of creeped out. Are you kind of creeped out?

I do like the very classy sky/meadow green screen in the background though. It really makes me want to buy the dress.

No, it makes me want to buy the girl.  And… runaway with her to a vague grassy hilltop? That is, until she learns how to talk back. Then I’m on to Sleeping Beauty bride.

Rape: the Act of God, said one Republican asshole

“You know, this is that issue for that every candidates for federal, or even state office, faces. And I, too, certainly stand for life,” said Mourdock, after both Democrat Joe Donnelly and Libertarian Andrew Horning had identified as pro-life, though Donnelly also stated his support for an exception in cases of rape. “I know there are some who disagree, and I respect their point of view.

But I believe that life begins at conception. The only exception I have, to have an abortion, is in that case of
the life of the mother.  “I’ve struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize that life is that gift from god. And even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.
–Richard Mourdock, Republican nominee

Seriously, do Republicans do this shit on purpose? I can’t even… I don’t…. *headdesk* Stupid stupid stupid….

No, God does not cross his arms and say “You there, good sir. Go and chase down that lady, pin her down, and rape her because I have this soul here that needs a vessel and I just cannot seem to find anyone else to impregnate right now.”

You have no right to tell a woman how to live her life, or what she should do with her body. And going beyond that, you have no right to reach inside the mind of God (whether or not He exists) and interpret his will for the world. You are not God, sir. Sorry to burst that bubble for you. You do not know His will. And any God who purposefully rapes women, well, that’s no God I want to pray to. That’s for damn sure.

Fun fact: Mourdock is really knowledgeable about Abraham Lincoln, and he goes around the state giving speeches and historical references about Lincoln. Apparently, he didn’t take Abe’s advice: “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

And I suppose God, too, wanted Lincoln shot in the back of the head.

(I’m pretty sure that blurry word behind his giant head says Mourdick. I’m almost positive it does.)

The Pregnant Man

What do you like about being a girl/boy?

This question was asked in one of my classes. It seems like fairly simple and straightforward question, until you try to answer.

To determine what you like most about being a particular gender, you first have to know what it means to be that gender. How do you separate what it is to be a “boy” from a “girl” and not stereotype? Here are some of the answers my classmates gave:

Girls:

-you can show emotions and affection
-motherhood
-guys pay for things
-chivalry
-tom boy or girly girl (gender bending)

Boys:

-get ready quickly
-more opportunities
-leadership
-can grow a beard/mustache/side burns
-no line for the bathroom
-can pee standing up

Then the question was asked: What do you dislike about being a girl/boy?

Girls:

-shaving
-scared walking home
-pressure to always look good
-periods

Boys:

-pressure when dating
-limited clothing options
-pressure to have money
-pressure of being a breadwinner

So what makes a man or a woman? A lot of the above ideas are socially constructed views of men and women today, and a lot are stereotypes. Men can’t show emotion? You know you’re a woman when you don’t have to pay on a date?

There’s only a few on this list that is actually biological. You can point and definitively say “Yes, that is a thing that only [girls/boys] do.” Motherhood is one, periods are another, guys growing facial hair, and being able to pee standing up (must admit, jealous of that). I don’t really see any other ones. Sure, shaving because we all grow hair, but society has decided that smooth legs/face are beautiful. We don’t have to take a razor to our skin every few days, but we do to be “pretty”.

Except, what about this?

This is Thomas Beatie. He is pregnant. Thomas was born a woman and decided she wanted a sex change. So she became a he, got a mastectomy, started hormones, grew facial hair, fell in love and then married a woman. His wife found out that they were not able to have kids. Thomas, luckily for them, still had his “original plumbing”, so to speak. Thomas stopped his hormone injections, got a sperm donor, and became pregnant with their first child.

Is he a man?          

I thought motherhood was a definitive point-your-finger girl thing.

And I thought growing a beard was a guy thing.

Thomas has had three children, and by had I do mean borne. He actually has the title in the Guinness Book of World Records as the “First Married Man to Give Birth”. Since, he has had a phalloplasty (an artificial penis).

He’s not the only man to have given birth. There have been guys before and after him to bear children. In fact, just last year in 2011, a Canadian man named Richard Guzzo was the first trans man to give birth to natural twins.

So this whole guys giving birth thing isn’t a one-time deal—a strange anomaly in time. The question remains. Are these men men? What does it mean to be a man or a woman? How can we tell the difference?

What do you think?

Mrs. Lovett… Feminist or Not?

If you have not seen Sweeney Todd, stop reading now. Spoilers are going to squirt out of me like fake blood out of a Tim Burton movie.

And for those of you who have….

Even though Mrs. Lovett is completely discombobulated, thinking murder and cannibalism are valid ways of doing business, she is a strong woman. And though I don’t necessarily recommend using her as a role model (scratch that, please do not use her as a role model), I do think she’s rather magnificent. So here is my list of why Mrs. Lovett is one badass chick:

  1. She’s clever and resourceful. Once Todd decides he’s going to murder a whole bunch of people, Mrs. Lovett finds the perfect out—using the bodies as filling for her delicious meat pies. It’s clean, economical, practical, and appropriate. Feed the low class, get rid of the bad guys. A win-win for everyone, really. (Well, except everyone else. This blog does not support cannibalism. Most likely. It’s good to keep your options open.)
  2. She runs her own business, a thriving one at that by the end, all pretty much on her own. Building up her shop from the worst pies in London to a packed full house takes both skill and strength. And cunning. Definitely cunning. 
  3. She’s an equal partner with Todd. Yes, she is in just as deep as him, in terms of responsibility and power. Even though she’s not slitting throats, she’s still slicing and dicing just the same. Equal power, equal responsibility.
  4. She pushes boundaries of society in order to gleam some sort of equality. For once, the upper class is feeding the lower class, instead of the other way around. 

Binders Full of Women for Everyone!

To those who don’t know what Romney said during the presidential debate, here is the video with his exact words just for you. It’s only two and a half minutes long: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OX_AN4w3da8

When the woman asked what the president was going to do about inequality in the workplace, the continuing problem of Equal Pay for Equal Work, Obama gave a pretty decent answer in my opinion. Romney, however, well… we all know how that went down.

Problem number one: he didn’t answer the question. He used the entire time allotted to talk about how he was such a great guy and went around collecting binders full of women candidates for the job opening when he didn’t have to, when it was inconvenient for him. 

Thank you, Romney. You’re such a saint.

I completely support recognizing the gap between the sexes during promotion and hiring time. And if every business man was a gender-conscious as Romney claims himself to be, then people and businesses across America would profit greatly.

But the words he used made it sound as if he was single-handedly responsible for giving all these women the chance of their life. Oh, how socially-aware he is. How kind. How elevated.

The problem with Romney’s plan to increase equality in the workplace is that he has no plan. No plan at all. Romney’s exact words are:

“We’re going to have to have employers in the new economy, in the economy I’m going to bring into play, that are going to be so anxious to get good workers they’re going to be anxious to hire women.”

He’s going to increase business, and the business owners will be so happy and so busy that they’ll just magically hire women? Really? Because that happens all the time, right? Maybe we should all have binders full of women to carry around and be enlightened.

What’s more, he generalized women workers to be working mothers. Women need flexible schedules because they have young children. Because they need to be there when they come home. Because their husband/partner obviously can’t take on the traditional mother role and cook dinner for the entire family and she needs to be there. 

And while a lot of women do need flexible hours because the traditional role of mother still falls onto women to be there when the kids get home and to cook dinner, even if Romney’s magical business plan to boost the economy works (which it probably won’t because he thinks trickle down economics are a good idea), even if businesses suddenly boom and grow and need new workers, there’s no plan in place to stop discrimination against women/mothers in the workplace. There’s no plan in place to enforce Equal Pay for Equal Work. There’s no fire under anyone’s butt to make employers allow flexible hours for mothers who do need to be home when the kids come home from school.