Star Wars: Episode VII. Meesa hopes we’re not all Screwed!

So, if you’re a nerd/geek like me, or you don’t live under a CGI’d rock, you’ve probably heard that there’s going to be another Star Wars movie. Episode VII. And if you haven’t heard, for shame. Seriously, what’s wrong with you?

Now, I read an article entitled something along the lines of: New Star Wars Movie, Sci-Fi Fans Everywhere Rejoice!

And perhaps the sci-fi fans are rejoicing. Perhaps they are all shaking in their boots with excitement for the new CGI effects and lightsaber battle scenes. They are probably jumping up and down, or fist-pumping the air, delighted to see what new magic Disney comes out with next galaxy far, far away.

I, on the other hand, being a Star Wars fan, am in fear.

Lucas already destroying his own legacy, my own childhood, Vader’s masculinity, and the mythology of that Universe, as one last kick
in the nads to his fandom, Lucas sold the rights to Disney. My only hope is that Lucas is really retiring and doesn’t have the authority to conjure up another Jar Jar Binks.

From what I understand, it’s not going to be shoot off movies, like they did in the Avengers, focusing on separate story lines. No, it’s going to be a whole new movie trilogy, a whole new story line, with whole new characters, on whole new planets, 200 years into a whole new future, on and on and on (which is the safest way for Disney to relaunch a series and make many moolahs ).

And sadly, Joss Whedon will not be available to direct.

So, here I must only tremble with fingers and toes crossed that Disney actually knows what it’s doing. (Or at least, knows what it’s doing more than Lucas did before he felt the need to add random rocks to the movie. Because what does that add? Honestly, Lucas. Honestly.) But behind all this sweaty-palmed trepidation is… well, more trepidation. But behind that lives a tiny part of my soul that wants to wait in line at midnight to see what new world awaits. Evidently, the movies were written out to be a nine-part series (and naturally the way to make those movies is 4,5,6,1,2,3,7,8,9), and these last ones are pretty damn good. And they were written back in the 80’s, so that’s good news. Things are looking up already.

Aim for the throat, Mickey! For the throat!


The best we can hope for is that, even if these movies bomb, like dark-hole-of-insanity, tricked-into-murdering-our-fathers, facing-the-Emperor-and-dropped-my-lightsaber sucks, we still have the old ones to replay until the residue of Disney Star Wars washes away into a bad memory we can block out of our minds and then burn the blue rays. No matter what these films are, they’re not going to wreck the old ones.


4 thoughts on “Star Wars: Episode VII. Meesa hopes we’re not all Screwed!

  1. I’m really not expecting too much from it, because that way I might be pleasantly surprised. They did a pretty enjoyable albeit appalling adaptation of John Carter – maybe that whetted their appetite?

    • Thanks for replying :] That’s probably a good way to look at it. Except nothing and then if it’s good, you’re happy, and if it’s bad… Well, saw that coming.

    • Dear Runesandrhinestones,
      Just curious and thinking about it, why do you think John Carter didn’t do so well in the box office? I mean, it didn’t even make as much money as it took to make the movie. And I thought it was pretty good (having no prior knowledge of the JC enterprise). It was fun and interesting, and certainly better than some of the other stuff floating *cough and sparkling cough* out there right now. It has pretty good reviews too. And it even had Juni from Spy Kids in it! I mean, what more could you want?
      Best wishes, NF

      • Oh definitely, I did enjoy it and I would actually buy it whereas you’d never get me anywhere near the sparkly films. I think it didn’t do so well because it’s not part of a big franchise, even though it was made by Disney. The thing about films at the moment is that they seem to be remakes all the time, and JC was relatively unknown and appealling to a pretty select market. I’m slapbang in the middle of their target audience – I love fantasy films 😀

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