Macklemore and Makeup. And oh yeah.. Facebook, too.

Do we really know what a feminist is? We say people do, but more and more (thanks to this wonderful call the internets) I run into people who actually have no god damn clue. I apologize for the swearing, but actually I do not apologize. Because ignorance is one of my biggest pet peeves. Ignorance yells loud while true knowledge whispers. (So, internet, here’s a tip. If you’re yelling, you’re probably not the genius.)

I have a Facebook (plot twist!). And on that Facebook I have liked the page “Women’s Rights News”. Not as news-y as I might have liked, but they have cool pictures. Today, just minutes ago in fact, I came across a Macklemore quote on makeup that I really liked… until I looked over into the comments. Let me show you what I mean.

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(click the picture to read the comments. It should work. And if it doesn’t… *shakes fist* Technology!)

Obviously, the first thing you noticed was my fabulous name-scribbling-out skills and the fact that I totally possess them. The second thing is that the hufflepuff picture is me commenting in what might be considered a semi-upset manner. But I agree with what I said to Christina. She has no idea what she’s talking about. Feminism, as I have said before, is not PRO WOMEN YEAH! It’s equality. It’s being valued in society and individually equally. It’s respect. That does not mean that we shun the fantastic and lovely Macklemore, who is expressing a pro-woman opinion (if you hadn’t noticed. Because that escaped Christina’s notice.)

I didn’t even see all of the other comments below Christina’s until I had already posted the comment. Can I just ask this here? What the hell is up with all this fuck Macklemore nonsense?? Do these women not know about the makeup industry and how the media portrays women as perfect and unattainably beautiful and photoshopped thin, and all the issues about self-image and body issues and this obsession with physical perfection?

And in case you other women commenting on this picture didn’t notice, Macklemore is not trying to take away your makeup. This quote actually has nothing to do with you, surprisingly, since the world obviously revolves around you.

No one is saying that makeup is bad (Well, perhaps me. A little. But it’s all so expensive and time-consuming and complicated!). But we are saying that women who do not want to wear makeup, who do not want to mess with the smoke and mirrors, who do not want to jump through the hoops of foundation, concealer, highlighter, setting powder, eyeliner, eye shadow, false eyelashes, mascara, lip liner, lipstick, lip gloss, blush, bronzer…. (*gasp* I’m out of breath. And out of products to name, though I’m sure there’s more), that those who don’t want to do that shouldn’t be penalized, punished, devalued, shunned, made fun of, or laughed at. That a woman should be seen as just as beautiful without all of those hoops as with them. And why is that a bad thing???

Because women do devalue themselves when they don’t wear makeup. And why is that fair? Why is that okay? Why, when we don’t feel like doing that entire Hairspray-level song and dance do we say to ourselves and to others “Ugh, I look disgusting today.” Or I’m such a slob. Or I’m gross. Or etcetera etcetera. That’s not okay to say. That’s not okay to feel. We should feel good about ourselves and value our natural beauty, because you are beautiful. You are gorgeous. Whether you have on ten tons of makeup or you’ve just gotten out of the shower. You are absolutely stunning no matter what anyone says. We should be proud of ourselves, and that is what Macklemore is trying to say.

So, basically what I am trying to say, is fuck Facebook. People are stupid. Makeup shouldn’t be put on a pedestal. The media is lame. Macklemore is right (despite Christina’s whining that he has a penis rather than a vagina. We’re all the same, Christina. One day, hopefully, you’ll see it). And you are beautiful.

 

Watch Out! You Don’t Fit into Society’s Rigid Gender Ideals and Therefore are about to be Crushed by an Ironic Symbol of Masculinity! she called only too late…

Here for you now, I present a collection of Milwaukee’s Best Light Beer commercials… Enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGItoKaX0BM

What do all of those commercials have in common? Beer. And also hegemonic masculinity.

Hegemonic masculinity is the term used to explain the criteria for being a “real man”; a model for all men to show how they “should” be. Generally, in American culture, there is only one complete unblushing male: a young, married, white, urban, heterosexual, Protestant, father, college educated, fully employed, handsome, tall, of the appropriate weight, and has a recent record in sports. And anyone who fails to qualify in any one of these ways at any time is likely to see himself as unworthy, incomplete, or inferior. Right? All other men who don’t fit this criteria are not manly at all. 

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The tagline of the beer is “Men should act like men”, and those who do not act like “men” should be crushed to death by an enormous beer can that falls from the heavens. Of course.

Clearly, this is unfair and sexist towards men. The men deserve to die because they are not acting like men, but are acting like women, and men becoming women is a fate deserving of death?

However, these men are not acting “like women”. They’re just not being stereotypical, hammer-up-the-drywall, macho-macho-masculine dudes.

The man who was showing love, warmth, affection, and sensitivity to a dog instead of working on the car? He definitely needed to die.

The guy who checked in with his wife? Acknowledging that he cares about his relationship? Obviously worthy of death. How dare a man be considerate. That’s just not how we do things here.

The dude with the clothes matching his wife? Whipped! He lost control of his woman. (And if you notice, once the guys reject him, his wife does too. She lets go of his hand and kind of inches away from him. Rejected by everyone.)

The man blotting his pizza, caring about his health, and perhaps even his appearance? Dead. And good riddance. (This is ironic because most older men in America have worse health than their wives. Not to mention this is a Light Beer commercial.)

A lot of this idea of masculinity has to do with the time we live in. If you notice, all of the “real” men are doing manual labor: digging a hole, fixing a car, grilling outdoors…. A hundred years ago, the perfect man would be he who did not have to do any physical labor. He would have slaves or servants to do it for him. Today, that has completely changed. The men were smoking, eating, drinking, working, getting dirty. Their masculinity was about brute strength. And this doesn’t really seem all that odd to us, because it is in fact hegemonic, and we don’t realize it’s there. We’ve integrated it into society so thickly, so deeply, that it only seems natural to us. Of course guys are rough and sweaty. What else would they be?

However, if this idea of “masculinity” was in fact natural, a hundred years ago the manliest men would also be digging holes and greasing up the … horses. If this really was natural, there wouldn’t be such great differences across time and space.

Here in America, two guys holding hands—not cool. Guys don’t generally hold hands, not unless their lovers. But in Africa, across the sea in the Middle East, guys hold hands. It’s a sign of friendship, of comradery. Guys do it all the time there, and it’s normal, it’s natural.

A guy I know, we’ll call him Gerard, served a Mission down in Africa recently. He had a tour guide to help him navigate the town. The tour guide was going to show him where such-and-such was, so he reached down to grab Gerard’s hand and instantly Gerard snatched his hand back, absolutely shocked. His tour guide looked at him strange, he was kind of hurt and confused. The tour guide was just trying to show him the way. Why had he not wanted to hold hands with him? Weren’t they pals?

It was extremely weird for Gerard to hold another man’s hand, and it was weird for the tour guide not to because of these two conflicting ideas of masculinity.

What’s so wrong with two guys holding hands in America? Oh right, because it’s “gay”.  … Oh, sorry, that was my cue: *Gasp!*

But wait, now why is that a bad thing? Oh right, because of this thing called hegemonic masculinity that says all real men are straight men, and real men are hardass Schwarzenegger S.O.B.’s that would never show affection or emotion because truly they’re half robot inside. And any deviancy will be met with the swift and just verdict of a giant beer can falling out of the sky to murder them on the spot. Silly me, how could I forget?

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Whoopsi daisy! How did that get there?