Debunking Leviticus

In honor of the one year anniversary repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell:

Something I’ve been hearing about a lot recently in the world is gay marriage. Gay this, gay that, it’s wrong, it’s right, I don’t like it, it’s not natural, on and on and on. Gay marriage, or rather, marriage equality (because gay people don’t gay walk their dog or gay grocery shop) is ridiculous. It’s absurd; absolutely ludicrous! There is no reason that everyone shouldn’t be allowed to be married, to publicly show their love, to have tax breaks, to visit their partner in the hospital when their sick, or adopt a child together.

Besides the fact that withholding marriage from a specific category of people is the textbook definition of discrimination, especially in the home of the free and the land of the brave, people try to use the Bible to somehow legitimize their prejudice.

Here for you now, is the Debunking of Leviticus, so you too can stop hate and ignorance it its tracks!

“‘Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.” (Leviticus 18:22)

This is probably the most famous line used against marriage equality. First, Leviticus also said no haircuts, polyester clothes, divorce, tattoos, football, shellfish, fortune telling, and gold jewelry, among other things (like if your wife saves your life by grabbing the attackers genitals, you have to cut off her hand. For shizzle. How bizarrely specific is that?). If you’re going to follow one rule, you have to follow them all. You can’t just pick and choose.

That’s right, no more drunken football games in your poly-cotton blend jersey with your local fortune teller and Cash-4-Gold representative after divorcing your crab-scarfing Barbershop spouse anymore. I know what you’re thinking. What am I going to do with my Tuesday nights now? I’m in the same boat, my friend. Back to Boggle, I suppose.

Second, Leviticus is in the Old Testament, which is specifically meant for Jews, not Christians.

And third, none of it even matters because Jesus invalidated all of it, along with Original Sin, when he died on the cross and instated a new set of rules so we could all go to Heaven. (But I’m sure God cares more about who you decide to marry rather than being a good person or following His teachings.)

I’ve also heard arguments that people of the same sex coming together is somehow against God, or against the Bible. Just in the same way that it doesn’t matter what I think of your relationship, it doesn’t matter what your God thinks of their relationship, because in fact it may not be the same omnipotent deity. And it also doesn’t matter if you don’t like their relationship.

If I don’t like my neighbor’s marriage, can I stop it? No, I can’t. Do I have a say in your marriage because I think blondes and brunettes don’t mix? Because Muggles and Wizards don’t mix? No, I do not. No one should have any say in anyone else’s marriage besides the people in that relationship. (Am I sounding crazy yet?)

Love is not just a right, it’s something unique and beautiful to our species. It’s not only insane to think someone could regulate it, I find it ugly. Love is like breathing. No more can anyone control how many breaths a person takes in their lifetime, can you control the zombie apocalypse, or, you know, the person who they’ll love.

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