Macklemore and Makeup. And oh yeah.. Facebook, too.

Do we really know what a feminist is? We say people do, but more and more (thanks to this wonderful call the internets) I run into people who actually have no god damn clue. I apologize for the swearing, but actually I do not apologize. Because ignorance is one of my biggest pet peeves. Ignorance yells loud while true knowledge whispers. (So, internet, here’s a tip. If you’re yelling, you’re probably not the genius.)

I have a Facebook (plot twist!). And on that Facebook I have liked the page “Women’s Rights News”. Not as news-y as I might have liked, but they have cool pictures. Today, just minutes ago in fact, I came across a Macklemore quote on makeup that I really liked… until I looked over into the comments. Let me show you what I mean.

Macklemore

(click the picture to read the comments. It should work. And if it doesn’t… *shakes fist* Technology!)

Obviously, the first thing you noticed was my fabulous name-scribbling-out skills and the fact that I totally possess them. The second thing is that the hufflepuff picture is me commenting in what might be considered a semi-upset manner. But I agree with what I said to Christina. She has no idea what she’s talking about. Feminism, as I have said before, is not PRO WOMEN YEAH! It’s equality. It’s being valued in society and individually equally. It’s respect. That does not mean that we shun the fantastic and lovely Macklemore, who is expressing a pro-woman opinion (if you hadn’t noticed. Because that escaped Christina’s notice.)

I didn’t even see all of the other comments below Christina’s until I had already posted the comment. Can I just ask this here? What the hell is up with all this fuck Macklemore nonsense?? Do these women not know about the makeup industry and how the media portrays women as perfect and unattainably beautiful and photoshopped thin, and all the issues about self-image and body issues and this obsession with physical perfection?

And in case you other women commenting on this picture didn’t notice, Macklemore is not trying to take away your makeup. This quote actually has nothing to do with you, surprisingly, since the world obviously revolves around you.

No one is saying that makeup is bad (Well, perhaps me. A little. But it’s all so expensive and time-consuming and complicated!). But we are saying that women who do not want to wear makeup, who do not want to mess with the smoke and mirrors, who do not want to jump through the hoops of foundation, concealer, highlighter, setting powder, eyeliner, eye shadow, false eyelashes, mascara, lip liner, lipstick, lip gloss, blush, bronzer…. (*gasp* I’m out of breath. And out of products to name, though I’m sure there’s more), that those who don’t want to do that shouldn’t be penalized, punished, devalued, shunned, made fun of, or laughed at. That a woman should be seen as just as beautiful without all of those hoops as with them. And why is that a bad thing???

Because women do devalue themselves when they don’t wear makeup. And why is that fair? Why is that okay? Why, when we don’t feel like doing that entire Hairspray-level song and dance do we say to ourselves and to others “Ugh, I look disgusting today.” Or I’m such a slob. Or I’m gross. Or etcetera etcetera. That’s not okay to say. That’s not okay to feel. We should feel good about ourselves and value our natural beauty, because you are beautiful. You are gorgeous. Whether you have on ten tons of makeup or you’ve just gotten out of the shower. You are absolutely stunning no matter what anyone says. We should be proud of ourselves, and that is what Macklemore is trying to say.

So, basically what I am trying to say, is fuck Facebook. People are stupid. Makeup shouldn’t be put on a pedestal. The media is lame. Macklemore is right (despite Christina’s whining that he has a penis rather than a vagina. We’re all the same, Christina. One day, hopefully, you’ll see it). And you are beautiful.

 

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On the show Baggage, Nerds, and Hot Women

Don’t judge me, but I have a confession to make. I…. watch Baggage, hosted by the one, the only: Jerry Springer. I usually find it on television somewhere when I’m up at 3 a.m. and have no desire to go to sleep (You know, because 3 in the morning isn’t late enough already).

If you don’t know what it is, Baggage is a show where a lovely lady or a kind gentleman is seeking love and decides the best way to do this is to go on a game show (Naturally). Three eligible men or women are then lined up ready to be picked by the first woman or man to go on a date with. The catch of this game is that those three contestants all have dark or weird secrets. Basically, they all come with “baggage” and then must reveal their naughty secrets to the other and hope not to be eliminated.

baggage

 

The reason I bring all this up is that last night I caught an episode. A lovely lady looking for love stands up on the podium and announces that she is looking for a sweet, nerdy, quirky guy to go out on a date with. It was the nerdy part that caught my attention. I watched the show, and it was exactly what I feared. When this beautiful young woman claimed she wanted a nerd, she didn’t actually mean it. What she wanted was this:

Joseph Gordon Levitt

 

Or this….

Johnny Depp Nerd

 

But certainly not an actual nerd. This is how the show went. Three guys went up and revealed their baggage. One was eliminated. The remaining two revealed all three pieces of baggage.

Guy #1‘s baggage: was 35 years old and had never had a real job & had his parents pay for everything, powdered his junk every day, and couldn’t help snooping through his past girlfriend’s diaries and email.

Guy #2‘s baggage: made clothes out of duct tape, was in a polka band, and has a low labido due to growing up with a very “liberated” mother.

Guy #1 couldn’t stop talking  about how he likes to work with kids and how he was a camp counselor (for four months. Only four months. Seriously, the way he kept bringing it up it sounded like he’d been doing it for years. He wouldn’t shut up. It’s was clearly a ploy to try and snag the woman’s heart).

Guy #2 was a quirky, kind, adorable nerd who likes to explore new places and go on roadtrips. He even quoted Star Wars.

Both were physically attractive (though, Guy #2 was actually more handsome than Guy #1, in my opinion.)

All these things I tell you because from the first moment I met these contestants, I was rooting with Guy #2. I wanted him for myself. The man was adorable. He was exactly what this woman had described before the show had ever started. He was genuine and compassionate and silly and lovable. I think we can tell where this is going.

She didn’t pick him.

Of COURSE she didn’t pick him. He was the NERD.

But wait, didn’t she say she wanted a nerd? From the first moment that word escaped her lips I knew, I KNEW, she was not going to pick the nerd because she didn’t really want a nerd.

I am really tired of this new “nerd” kick that has been floating around, because it hasn’t changed anything. Nerds are not cool. They aren’t by definition. This new-age “cool nerd” thing is simply just another costume for cool, popular, well-adjusted people to like Star Wars or play video games and wear thick glasses and then call themselves by a different name.

Us actual nerds, the people who deserve this name, who have earned the title, are still the socially awkward, ill-adjusted, introverted, and unsociable on the bottom of the societal totem pole. And that’s fine. That’s where we’ve always been. We’re in our basements, our apartments, our nerd lairs and batcaves. The problem is when people like this hot woman claim they desire nerds when they actually do not. You know not the meaning of the word. 

Nerd whore

 

Sure, say you want the nerdy guy and then choose the untrustworthy, email-snooping, unemployed junk-powderer. (Right, I’m sure the cute nerd with duct tape lederhosen and a polka band was so much worse than that long-haired creep.) Just stop lying to yourself about wanting a nerd. Because you don’t. You’ve proven that. You sully the good name of Nerd by even uttering it from your perfect baby-pink lips.

To some, the title of nerd is an insult to designate superiority and inferiority. To others, it’s an honor to be earned and treasured. You disrespect everyone when you throw the word around as casually as “totes”, “lol”, or “cray cray”. And it’s pissing me off.

 

What Do You Look Like In Your Bathing Suit?

Funny how beauty ideals change so quickly and so vastly. An ad actually campaigning women to gain weight?? The madness! The sheer madness!

I mean, you can’t walk into a grocery store today without ten different tabloids and magazines shouting Quick and Easy Ways to Lose 10 Pounds by Tomorrow! With Spring creeping up upon us suddenly out of the darkness of winter, this dreaded topic of swimsuits is sure to be on many a woman’s mind.

Corsets, crash diets, diet pills, diet t.v. dinners, diet soda, diet sugar, starvation, bulimia  anorexia, and now that even isn’t good enough anymore and so we have photoshop to finish the job. We forget that for thousands of years round hips and soft curves were considered feminine and healthy, sexy and beautiful. It’s only within the last 50 years that a boyish figure has turned popular. And the figure is boyish. Skinny, gangly, tall… that sounds like a young boy to me. Some models are so skinny that they actually lose their menstruation cycle. Can you see the point I’m making here?

Your curves are womanly. Demonstrated by the advertisement above, people wanted to be voluptuous, sensuous, lascivious even.

They wanted a little badonk-a-donk in the trunk of that wagon you’re draggin’, girl! Own that booty. Because, despite popular belief, not

Hothothothot... *cough* I mean.. what?

Hothothothot… *cough* I mean.. what?

all guys want twigs. I know that we’re trained to think that, but believe me when I say there are plenty, plenty of guys out there who do not subscribe to the so-skinny-that-your-ovaries-stop-working look that movies, television, magazines, and billboards keep picturing. There are professional athletes that prefer women who have a little extra on the side. Big, buff traditionally “hott” men who we’re taught should only be into models, cheerleaders, and gymnasts, but they do not. Every single human being on this earth has their very own tastes and preferences, many whose interests line up exactly with you.

So if you want to wear a bikini, wear that bikini. Even if you have love handles. Let those lovely handles come out in all their glory! If you have a behind that makes people double take and say DAT ASS, wear that bikini! Own it, all of it, because its yours, and that ass and those love handles are beautiful. No, for realz. Believe it. You are harder on yourself than anyone else in the entire world. You should be confident, you should love yourself, accept yourself for who you are rather than wishing to be someone else. When you love yourself, no one else can touch you and nothing else will matter.

Say these words: I. Am. Beautiful!

Women Scientists You Should Thank but Do Not Know

Happy Women’s Day to all you lovely ladies out there! Here are six women scientists you should know but don’t.

1. Ada Byron was the daughter of a brief marriage between the Romantic poet Lord Byron and Anne Isabelle Milbanke, who separatedAda Byron
from Byron just a month after Ada was born. She was a gifted analyst, metaphysician, and a founder of scientific computing.

2.  Rosalind Franklin. There is probably no other woman scientist with as much controversy surrounding her life Rosalind Franklinand work. Franklin was responsible for much of the research and discovery work that led to the understanding of the structure of DNA. Biophysicist and X-ray crystallographer, she received no credit for her contributions to the discovery of the structure of DNA, and was beaten out of publication by Crick and Watson.

3. Rachel Carson was a marine biologist and conservationist. She held the view that human beings were but one part of nature

PHOTO: Rachel Carson

distinguished primarily by their power to alter it, in some cases irreversibly. Disturbed by the profligate use of synthetic chemical pesticides after WWII, she wrote Silent Spring and challenged the practices of agricultural scientists and the government, and called for a change in the way humankind viewed the natural world. That book, along with her other writings, are credited with advancing the global environmental movement.

4. Lise Meitner, a physicist who worked on radioactivity and nuclear physics, was part of the team that Lise Meitnerdiscovered nuclear fission (in fact, Otto Hahn, one of the head hanchos of the project, met with Lise secretly and she helped him greatly when they were stuck in the wrong direction), but Lise was overlooked for the Nobel Prize in favor of male colleagues.

5. Cecilia Payne in 1925 became the first person, woman or man, to receive an Ph.D. in astronomy from Cecilia PayneHarvard. Shapley had attempted to get her a Ph.D. in the already existing physics department, but the chair refused. To get around this roadblock she received her Ph.D. in astronomy instead. Her Ph.D. thesis, later labeled as “the most brilliant Ph.D. thesis ever written in astronomy”, was an explanation for the composition of stars in terms of the relative abundances of hydrogen and helium.

6. Mary Anning. Despite the fact that Mary Anning’s life has been made the subject of several books and articles, Mary Anningcomparatively little is known about her life, and many people are unaware of her contributions to paleontology in its early days as a scientific discipline. How can someone described as ‘the greatest fossilist the world ever knew’ be so obscure that even many paleontologists are not aware of her contribution? She was a woman in a man’s England. When she was only 10 or 12 years old, Mary help to discover the first specimen of Ichthyosaurus to be known by the scientific community of London.

Fox Mocks Old Lady, 102-year-old waits to vote

Yeah, that’s right. Fox News mocked this sweet 102 year old lady’s long wait to cast her ballot at the elections.

Desiline Victor

Can you believe it? She had to wait in line, then go home, and come back and wait again. That’s perseverance. You think that’s easy for a young healthy person? It was reported that in Florida alone, 201,000 eligible voters went home after waiting in the long lines without casting their ballot. This woman, Desiline Victor, kept at it. We should applaud her.

Here’s what Fox News decided to say:

Martha MacCallum said: “What’s the big deal?” and “This is such a non-issue. Ridiculous.”

Classy. As I have always said, Fox News, you are a class act.

The big deal is that President Obama invited her to the State of the Union address, and then applauded her efforts. Have you, Martha, been invited by the President of the United States of America and applauded? No, and I don’t think you will ever be, especially for making fun of the elderly, and people who are determined to do their civic duty.

 

“Hilary Clinton is a Bitch,” said the feminist

Hillary Clinton emotional

Hillary Clinton cartoon

Hillary Clinton meme

Hilary Clinton is a bitch

There is a double standard involved when women are in power. Either a woman is liked and therefore incompetent, or is competent and therefore a bitch.

The double-headed sword. Aggression, ambition, and success are all traits needed to have power, but they are also traits that are traditionally male, masculine, and “unfeminine.”

We like women who are gentle, caring, nice, and pleasantly-tempered. But we don’t trust that woman with power. She’s not competent enough. She couldn’t handle it. She’s not strong enough. But, you know, she’s nice.

Women who are aggressive and ambitious are able to handle power, but they’re cold, mean, and a bitch. A dragon lady.  A person who might just be inherently unfeminine. (But she still has to be feminine, you know. Nice hair, smart clothes, classy makeup. Do her shoes match her belt?)

A woman cannot show emotion, because then she is hysterical, crazy, overemotional, and menstruating. And if a woman is menstruating, watch out! She might go to war with some unsuspecting country because her hormones are in a tizzy!

David, Goliath, and his Lover

DAVID & JONATHAN (1000 bce)

David and Goliath
After killing the Philistine giant, Goliath, the young hero David was brought before Saul, the first king of Israel. Saul’s eldest son Jonathan instantly fell in love with the handsome young warrior, and stripped off his own robe and armor and placed them upon David. When Jonathan was killed by the Philistines on Mt. Gilboa, David mourned and said: “greatly beloved were you to me; your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.” The story of David and Jonathan is told in the Old Testament of the Bible, in books 1 and 2 Samuel.