Girls, Don’t Get Raped!

First of all, can we just acknowledge how brave this girl is for telling her story in so detailed a picture? If something like that happened to me, I don’t know if I could write it down, take a picture, and put it on the internet for everyone to see. And her friends and boyfriend are assholes. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with them?

Second, I’m not sure if the person who wrote over the picture, the picture on the right, realizes the putrid irony of what s/he rewrote. And they hit all the marks. In the woman’s story, she says that because of the way she dressed, because she drank, society says that “it was her fault” for being raped, which is exactly what the right side picture says. She says she was called a whore, and the right side calls her that too.

It immediately labels the woman as a slut, a whore, a lying bitch who deserved what she got, placing all of the guilt and blame upon her; then, it exonerates the rapist as being completely in his rights to have sex with her; and then it paints the (ex) boyfriend as a good guy, a hero almost, who saw through the evil whore’s silver tongue and got back his dignity by spitting in the bitch’s face.

The right side picture is saying everything that she says our society teaches, which (at least in my opinion) make her claims all the more credible, because there they are in black and white just a few inches away.

And isn’t it ironic that the very last line of the right side says “I am not responsible for my actions.” Where is the accountability and responsibility of the men’s actions? Both of them? The rapist (who apparently isn’t a rapist) and the boyfriend?

Don't get raped

Don't get raped not Don't rape

Lets stop rape

When you know it is rape:

1. When the woman says no.

2. When you try to convince the woman to have sex with you/when you guilt a woman into having sex with you.

3. When the woman is too intoxicated (by alcohol or drugs) to make fully conscious decisions.

4. When the sex is unwanted, unconscious, or unasked for.

Rape doesn’t just happen in a dark alleyway in the city by a stranger. Rape can happen anywhere to anyone. Rape is usually committed by someone you know. Rape can occur in a marriage. Rape can occur without any beating or weapons involved.

So yes, because she was drunk, she was not of a sound mind to give full consent (if any consent was ever given), and it was rape.

I do actually feel like this when walking home alone. I pretend to talk on my cellphone when I walk home alone.

I do actually feel like this when walking home alone. I pretend to talk on my cellphone when I walk home by myself.

[disclaimer: I know that not all men are rapists, and not all rape victims are women. Thousands of men each year are raped, but only 1 in 10 men report being raped.]

 

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And if you can’t tell, yes, in the uppermost righthand corner of the first picture, whoever posted this picture to their Facebook thought that it was very funny. Very funny indeed.

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Planned Papahood = Abortion-Tire care-Starbucks Shops Galore

This is funny, outrageous, and sexist; I know. But I started to wonder, is it also true?

There are a few ways to look at this question (if you overthink it). Just in case you have that same pesky problem I have with thinking, let me clarify the perimeters of this discussion:

When men become pregnant, we’re not talking about guys’ hormones/biology/body changing and essentially becoming women.

We’re not talking about all of human history being reversed and are now and have always been a matriarchal society instead of patriarchal. The gender roles are not swapped.

This is not a sudden switch, like suddenly guys are waking up with giant bellies and swollen feet.

Guys stay guys. History stays the same as it’s always been (men in power). The only thing that has changed is the fact that guys carry the babies. Yes, magically. No, more like a seahorse. Let’s say a seahorse. Men raise the fetus in his stomach, and then also gives birth.

The essential core to the picture shown above is this: Is the abortion argument really about the fetus?

Some other lesser questions hiding in the background are: If a woman was president, would she immediately legalize abortion? Is this
just another way for men to oppress women? Are men (and by men, I mean the majority of men in Congress/in power today) only seeing  one side of this argument: their side? Would men have so many abortion clinics in this alternative universe because it’s okay for men to have sex, but not for women? [Disclaimer: I know not all women are pro-choice, and I know not all men are pro-life. But seeing as the people making the Federal decisions regarding a “woman issue” are in Congress, and Congress is filled with primarily men….]

Back to the main question. Is abortion really about the baby? Perhaps. Perhaps not. The picture is outright saying it’s not. Abortion wouldn’t even be a problem if men were the ones having babies. It’s about power. Which, I kind of agree with. Abortion, by all means, is not a simple question. There is no simple answer, and saying there is a simple and concrete answer ignores the basic reality of the question. A baby is not the only one affected (if you believe a fetus is in fact a baby) in the decision. I have to argue that the mother is the one affected most of all. Whether or not that fetus lives or not, it’s not conscious enough to really know what life is. The mother, on the other hand, is painfully aware. And whether or not that mother goes through with the pregnancy or with the abortion, she has to carry that weight, that decision, probably for the rest of her life. Something growing inside of you, or the lack there of, is not something you can forget easily. What ever decision you chose sticks to you like a poltergeist, and stays there.

And no matter how compassionate, or caring, or loving, or understanding, or open-minded a man is, I’m not sure there’s any way for him to fully comprehend the full weight of a life inside of your uterus. No matter how many times you explain to him what it was like, what you were feeling, or what you thought, he’ll never know for himself. Because he can’t know. How could he know? Unfortunately, he’s not a woman.

There’s something here that no one can fully explain. A mysterious, ambiguous third factor lies in this question. A factor that no science, no numbers, no amount of extrapolation and deduction and conclusion-drawing can make clear. Abortion is steaming with this factor. Its why it’s such a hard question, pro-life/pro-choice. And it’s also why I kind of agree with the first picture. I do believe that part of the abortion arguments is actually about the fetus, the human life involved, but that’s not all of it. This is never going to be a fair fight as long as men exclusively are making the reproductive choices. Men should not be making these choices for women. If men understood the whole gravity of it, and the bits and bearings, I do believe that the decisions being made would be different. Or at least, we might be discussing it a little differently.