What do Twilight and Star Wars have in Common?

So, for those of you who haven’t heard, Star Wars VII is a thing going on now. Let’s just do a quick recap of the happenings, shall we?

George Lucas sold Star Wars to Disney, who is making another trilogy of the series. It’s an all new plot line, I heard supposedly 200 years in the future, with new plot lines and characters and even new planets to explore. Episodes 7,8, and 9 were supposedly written when the other six movies  were written. It’s not coming out of the blue. Doesn’t sound too bad right? Well, that’s what I thought too. Until yesterday.

Now, in your general musings about the day, you might be wondering (along with how is a raven like a writing desk) what Twlight and Star Wars have in common. The quick answer is nothing. They have nothing in common.

You, sir, are wrong.

Robert Pattinson is the answer here. R-Patz, after just being released from the Twilight franchise, has signed on with Star Wars. Now, I’m no Twilight fan, but Robert isn’t that bad an actor. I’ve seen his other stuff. I think the whole constipated-high acting thing was designed specially for sparkly vampire man. But now, something’s gone too far. He’s signed onto Star Wars… to play to voice of Jar Jar Binks.

Jar Jar Binks.

What the hell?

How in the world does that make sense? We are keeping Jar Jar Binks? Damn you, Lucas for creating this monster! And now it’s continuing? Wait, wait, how can Jar Jar Binks be in the movies if they’re 200 years into the future? He wasn’t even around for 4, 5, & 6. Where is the timeline of the movie?

And that’s not all I’ve heard. Darth Vader may be coming back.

What?

Yeah.

Are you sure?

That’s what I’ve heard.

But… but he’s dead.

I know.

He died.

I know.

Luke burned his body, for Christ sake!

I know, I know, I don’t understand it either. Why, Disney, why are you doing this to us? What? Did his magical suit somehow protect him from the flames and then bring him back from the grave? Or are these new movies somehow interjected in the period between when Luke was growing up and Vader ruled? Or… Or are you just insane?? Gah!

Oh no, don’t tell me, more information? Alright, bring it on.

The movies might feature Luke, Leia, Han, and Lando. I don’t understand how that’s going to work either, unless you have a time machine. Or they’re all really old, in which case, no. No. *Flips table*

I’m just going to treat this as if it were the apocalypse and prepare for the very, very worst. I’m going to crawl into my bunker, lock the door, and watch the good Star Wars movies with my space blanket and canned food. Hold onto your butts, because this one looks like it’s going to be a doozy.

I am a Nerd, Thank You Very Much

I am socially awkward. I am introverted. Rather than going out with my friends, partying, or patrolling for cute guys, I like to stay in and read, or write, or watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I love Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, Firefly, Narnia, Legend of the Seeker, X-Men, Primeval, Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, Portal, the list goes on. I am a nerd. A nerd I say!

However, my sister says I’m not a nerd. She says I’m not cool enough to be a nerd.

So in recent events, the “nerd” has grown in popularity. Except not really. Things that used to be looked down upon have suddenly sprung up as not only being socially acceptable, but endorsed. But these supposed “nerds” are not actually nerds. The popular people are still the popular people on the top of the food pyramid, and the socially awkward people are still on the bottom. As one of my favorite memes would say:

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It took me a long time to accept my identity as a nerd. People made fun of me, called me weird, and teased me, hissing out nerd like Basilisk venom. I used to lie awake at bed at night wishing as hard as anyone ever could to be anyone else but myself, wishing not to be a nerd.

It took years, and the vlogbrothers, to accept that part of myself. But I did accept it. And not only that, I learned to love that part of myself. And now, all of the sudden, the same people who cursed me with the name have now stolen it from me. They’ve stolen it from us. They’ve stolen our identity.

Well, who am I now? Where the hell do I belong? I can’t be a nerd, I’m still not “popular”, so where does that leave me?

It leaves me in the desert on a horse with no name.

It leaves me standing on a beach with naught but a name and your word it’s the one I need.

And I don’t care if Shakespeare thinks that a name doesn’t matter, and that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Name does matter. And I have lost mine.

No. No I have not. I am not just going to sit idly by, blooming on the walls, while something so important to me is stripped away like hair on Michael Phelps. No can do. I reclaim my nerdom, clamping it close to my heart with white-knuckled fists. You cannot take away my name.

Dear people who think they can just put on a pair of glasses and call themselves a nerd, GTFO. This is my territory, and I intend to keep it. I plan to defend my title as vigorously as Dr. McCoy defends his. I intend to keep it like Smeagol keeps the Ring. I mean to fight for it like Peter does for Narnia. And for Aslan! And I shall treasure it like Snape does Lily. Always.

Best Wishes,

thenerdfightingfeminist