Teen Mom who Waxed her 3-Year-Old’s Eyebrows Claims she’s a “Good Mom”

Farrah AbrahamFormer Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham not only decided to wax her little girl’s unibrow, stopping mid-way when the child protested, only to finish the job while the little girl slept (Side note: can you imagine creeping into your daughter’s bedroom while she slept with a pair of tweezers in your hand? In what world is that normal? That sounds like a creepy slasher movie or some shit), but after that proudly blogged about it, saying “I feel like a good mom!”

Dearest Mommy Farrah did it because she “felt bad for her.”

But what can we expect from a woman who just threw down 16 grand on plastic surgery for her breasts, chin, and nose?

It’s one thing to use a tweezer on your baby, but wax?? That could have burned her. She’s three years old! Jesus, woman, have you no sense? Who the hell cares if a 3 year old has a unibrow?

One consequence of such early-in-life beauty obsessions experts say is that it teaches young girls to value themselves based on how they look instead of who they are. If you’re going to start her worrying about how her eyebrows are shaped at 3, how can you expect her not to worry about her beauty? This plugs right in to how young children think already; they focus on what they can see and not what lies underneath. You have already started your daughter on the path to body issues.

And what are children supposed to think if their own mother–the woman who gave birth to them, the one person in the world who is supposed to love you no matter what–feel bad for you because you have a unibrow. Farrah basically told her daughter that her own mother doesn’t think she’s beautiful. And she’s teaching her to blindly accept the popular culture’s definition of what pretty is.

Eyebrow guideBeing taught to focus on beauty can lead to a lifetime of psychological and social problems. If your mother values you based on how you look, you in turn will learn that behavior, and then appearance becomes the focus of what you care about. Only caring about appearance undermines emotional attachment, which can in turn cause an inability to make or maintain caring relationships, or develop a positive self image.

I just don’t understand why you would ever want to wax your child’s eyebrows. She’s a child. So what? She’s supposed to run around with other kids, and play in a sandbox, and believe in the Tooth Fairy, not worrying about if she’s beautiful or not.

Of course, her mother is a person who got pregnant as a teenager and then thought it would be a good decision to be on a reality show. (Honey, to get on a reality show these days, your life has to be pretty screwed up. Just an observation.)

 

40 Reasons to be a Feminist

Being a feminist means:
1. Walking home at night without having to walk with a buddy or pretend to be on the phone.
2. Walking home late at night without tensing up at the sound of footsteps behind you, wondering and worrying if those footsteps are quickening because they have somewhere they need to be or because they’re trying to catch up with you…
3. Being promoted at work instead of overlooked.
4. Being promoted at work, not because you’re a woman, but because your boss respects you as a capable part of the team
5. The boss considering you for a promotion and not weighing the job position between you or Sven, who isn’t as good as you, because Sven isn’t going to get pregnant and run off and have a family.
6. Your boss knowing that you can get the job done with or without a baby on your hip, and the company respects you for juggling work and motherhood, and even helps you do it, instead of weighing it against you.
7. Being able to say the word Vagina without having it declared a dirty word.
8. Being able to say vagina in Congress without being suspended.
9. Decisions about what’s best for your cervix decided by people who have a cervix.
10. Being in full control of your own sexual health and well-being.
11. Being able to crossdress! (Ladies, look down right now. If you’re wearing pants, you’re crossdressing. Yay!)
12. Watching a movie like Brave and not have someone saying/whining “it’s just about a not having to have a guy in your life…” The movie is about a girl. A strong girl. On her own. The end.
13. Having more time being a father, and being with your father, and a planned father at that.
14. Being paid the same wage as men for the same job. (Yeah, still don’t have that.)
15. Babies not being left abandoned on trains or in the fields because the baby is a girl and they needed a boy. (I had a friend who was left on a train as a baby and was saved. It still happens.)
16. Not feeling like shit because you don’t fit into these rigid and bizarre ideals of “womanhood.”
17. China’s population not being mostly men because the government put in the “One Baby Rule” and so everyone aborted the girl babies because they’re “less valuable” than boy babies.
18. Having affordable public daycare for working mothers.
19. Not worrying if you’re ugly, or fat, or hairy.
20. Valuing yourself as a human being rather than how sexy you look.
21. Not being expected to know how to cook and clean, and not being expected to enjoy that kind of work.
22. Not having the “second shift” when you come home. (The second shift being the work mothers put into your house and your children and your family, cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, mopping, dusting, wiping, swiping, shopping, feeding, homeworking/bathing/bedtiming children)
23. The president of Harvard saying that women are naturally worse at math and not have people take him seriously.
24. A teacher not getting fired from her job from being pregnant and unmarried. (Cathy Samford)
25. Not feeling the compulsive need to starve yourself or vomit every meal to fit the delusional ideal of womanhood because you feel inadequate.
26. Having a woman president of the United States.
27. Having more than 17% of women in Congress.
28. Having more than 3.6% of CEO’s in Fortune 500 Companies be women.
29. Republicans not trying to get rid of Planned Parenthood.
30. Paul Ryan not saying that God, reason, and science tell him that he has any right to tell women what to do with her uterus.
31. Women not having surgery to make their vagina’s “prettier” (Sorry, it’s too freaky not to mention. Seriously? Our vagina’s aren’t pretty enough for you?)
32. Michelle Bachman is not called crazy, especially when no one else was.
33. Hilary Clinton won’t be called a bitch because she’s powerful and in control. (By the way, Hilary Clinton won the state-wide title Woman of the Year in 1983 and then Mother of the Year in 1984.)
34. Women having more than one Halloween costume option: slut.
35. Abercrombie & Fitch doesn’t think it’s okay to put “WHO NEEDS BRAINS WHEN YOU HAVE THESE?” on girls’ tee-shirts.
36. Being able to buy a vibrator in every state. Because a woman’s sexuality is something every woman should decide for herself.
37. Feeling pretty in sweats/Feeling pretty in lipstick and heels.
38. Not having to accept all men are slutty and all women are monogamous.
39. Women are seen than more than baby-machines, men are more than breadwinners.
40. Having better sex.

Babies having Babies. That’s why we need Planned Parenthood

Yes, it’s true. America has the highest rates of births to teenage mothers (even though it’s lowered since 1990). Our number is so high it’s double that of the next highest country—the United Kingdom (including Ireland). Babies having babies is a problem, it’s true. However, I’m not so sure critics and politicians are so worried about rampant immorality, the hardships of a single teen mother, or the effects of fatherlessness as they are worried about women’s sexual agency.

Let me explain.

Republicans claim to have family values, they claim to be worried about unintended pregnancies, but last year they tried to get rid of Planned Parenthood and Title X. Both of these provide millions of women with birth control, healthcare, and lifesaving screenings for breast and cervical cancer. Planned Parenthood goes further, providing contraceptives, family planning, HIV testing, STD preventatives and treatment, general/men/women healthcare, LGBT services, and yes, sometimes abortions or morning after pills. Republicans claim that it’s the abortion thing that has them running after Planned Parenthood like rabid dogs, but in Texas they sued clinics that didn’t even provide abortions.

What’s more, efforts to “stop” teen motherhood have included things like increasing restrictions on access to birth control and even birth control information. How in the world are teens not supposed to get pregnant if we don’t teach them how to protect themselves? Teens are going to have sex whether you like it or not. We need to accept this undeniable, unpreventable truth, and prepare them to handle themselves, not keep them in the dark and cross our fingers that nothing bad happens. Clearly, that isn’t working. I have a friend who didn’t know what birth control pills were until her college health class.

We all have a different way of looking at the world. I, a white, female college student born in 1991, don’t see the world the same way Bill my neighbor would, who is a war veteran. Because the overwhelming majority of politicians are white middle-aged males and of a high socioeconomic status, the way they perceive the world is not the same as how a poor young black mother sees the world, or how a widowed Asian-American woman sees the world. And how could they? They live in completely different realities.

However, the power through which the politicians, the elite white males, operate creates dominance over everyone else, and oppresses those who do not share their unique view. The lack of diversity in Congress creates a very narrow view of the world. The eras that those politicians grew up in affect their values and what they think is “valuable”, which may not be in the best interest of women. Apparently, this is the case. Because, the real problem here is not teenage pregnancy, but unwed mothers. Only 20% of babies born to single mothers are teenagers. 60% are unwed mothers, women between the ages of 20 and 30 years that are raising a child. This seems to be the real issue here. Women nowadays are more sexually active, and Planned Parenthood provides women with the knowledge and tools to control their own health and sexuality.

But also, the other problem of “babies having babies” is it can be a way to blame women for men’s irresponsibility. Politically, we are saying to young women if they are going to dance, they will have to pay the piper. (Although, we all know it takes two to tango.)

What do all these horrible cliches mean? The way we’re dealing with this problem is as useless and old as this language. Maybe the answer to this problem is we need to increase the abilities of young women to become responsible (health care, birth control, knowledge), and to foster a more responsible young manhood.